jamey.

The blogs about women were long. Real long.

For the sake of none of these women’s honest, heartfelt words and loving messages from their friends and family going unseen, I’m going to be posting each in a single blog every couple of days or so until I am able to finally get the teen session executed and up to share. So that you can take just five minutes and read one woman’s “story” and maybe find comfort in the way you can relate/understand/empathize/etc.

They will be in no particular order…drawing numbers 1-18.
Tonight’s number: #6.

I give you Jamey.

jameyblog
jamey’s words ~

I thought for a long while about this project and what it was asking of me. I felt that sharing my easy to admit insecurities (not pretty enough, not thin enough, not educated enough, boobs, butt, hair, etc.) didn’t quite live up to what I interpreted as the heart of the project. I decided I was going to be stupid and brave and try and admit my greatest insecurity. So I thought about it…and then I thought about it some more…and then I realized what it is. Then I argued with myself about whether or not it was honest enough. Whether or not I was phrasing it correctly. I decided there was little I could do to change the way it sounds so, here goes: I don’t believe anyone can love me. I believe I am unlovable. I can say that to you now in the letter, that part is easy…but the hard part comes when you ask me to explain it. If I have to explain it, then I have to consider why, how, I feel that way…and while I now know why I feel that way, (guh) explaining it just makes me feel bad.”

jamey’s friends and family:

“Jamey is one of the best women I know. She has so many wonderful qualities, it is very hard to name just a few, but here goes…
Jamey is one of the most intelligent women I know. She could be anything in the world she wants to be, and, thankfully for her children, she has chosen to be the best mother I know. She is understanding, demanding, loving and nurturing, in her own Jamey way. She knows the pain of a difficult childhood, and has made sure that her three children had someone that loves them unconditionally. This is the greatest gift any parent can give her kids. I turn to her for advice for my own children. 
Jamey is one of the most beautiful women, who I don’t believe is truly aware of her beauty. She has a style that I only wish I could pull off. Despite the fact that she has her own unique style, that style never takes over her natural beauty. She has such a beautiful face. I have to put a lot of my beauty on. She is lucky enough to look gorgeous just as she is. 
Finally, Jamey is one of the strongest women I know. She has seen a lot in her years, but rather than wallow in self pity, or let it keep her from enjoying life, she learns and grows from life’s experiences. To be able to be philosophical about life’s shitty experiences is so important. I think she knows that the sum total of her life has made her the incredible woman she is today. I admire Jamey and all the wonderful qualities that she has. I am thankful and proud to call her my friend.” – laura

“Jamey is a fierce and loyal friend. She’s a lioness – generous, impulsive, and never backs down from a fight. She is tender to those she loves, inquisitive and hard working. Most of all, she is a devoted Mother, who always puts her children first, and whose happiness and well being are her reason to get up in the morning. She is a good wife, and incredibly beautiful. She turns hardship into challenge, and is constantly evolving. She is also a hothead, crazy *ss wacko, and I love her all the more for it, because without this, she would be insufferably perfect. I’d give her any organ I could spare, and maybe a few I could not. I am very lucky she is in my life.” – diana

“Ok, let’s see… words to describe Jamey… thorough — she’s a friend that, if you got lice from your asshole kids, would help you deal with it (since the boyfriend wouldn’t). haha. Kind, an avid recycler, spontaneous, funny– (as in HAHA but also sarcastic haha), brave, strong– (she could take a man down and stands up for her family and those she cares about), smart (hell, she homeschools Ethan) a great decorator, (we’ve all seen her house), animal lover (from her urban farming to cats and dogs and what else resides in the house, haha), good listener (she’ll let you vent but also gives you pros and cons about irrational crazy thoughts), humble, a great cook (all those years watching Food Network paid off), fun (just typing that makes me laugh…she’s a friggin’ hoot) in love (I’m surprised they get out of bed)…..” – jooley

“CONFIDENT, BEAUTIFUL, A GREAT MOTHER, AND SHE IS GREAT AT BURYING YOUR DECEASED PETS WHEN YOU JUST CAN’T FIND THE COURAGE….” – sara

“Lets see…I have known Jamey since we were 6yrs old. She is right in that I can share a thing or 2 or 50! 
Jamey is loyal. Even when years passed between times that we spoke, she has my back. 
Jamey might be the smartest chick I know (person, really). And I’m not just speaking of intelligence, although she has an abundance of that! 
Jamey is so funny…always. She has one of the best senses of humor of anyone I know…& I know some funny people! 
Jamey’s heart is bigger than her person. She cares deeply about everyone she meets (even those who may not deserve it). She cares deeply about causes too – environment, children, animals, human rights…
Jamey is strong. She has gone through things that would break most people and she keeps going, almost stronger after each thing. I am amazed everyday by the person she’s become. 
She is an awesome mother. She’s kind of my “mom” idol. When I have a mothering issue, I often find myself thinking, “what would Jamey do?”
I know this project isn’t about outer beauty, but she has that in spades as well…
I could go on & on about how amazing she is, but I will probably start crying and then I won’t be able to type.” – paige

“Hi Alana, 
I could write an essay about my beloved Jamey and never be able to describe her adequately. But here is the mixed bag of qualities that I admire about her. I think what makes them so great is that they are so contrasting. She isn’t one way…Majestic, Decisive,
Brave,
Direct,
Unflinching,
Commanding,
Fierce,
Nurturing,
Resourceful, Persuasive,
Authentic,
Tender,
Protective,
Brilliant.” – jillian

“Hey Alana…
I don’t know…Jamey usually just makes fun of me…
But seriously, 
I think one of the best qualities of Jamey is her confidence. She is funny and sharp-witted. She is also a fantastic mother and very protective of her children.” – greg

“My wife sees a new world. She lives a new world. She spends every single day, at great personal, emotional risk to herself, living and feeling and loving as if the people she knows and loves are somehow better than we are; somehow kinder, and gentler, and funnier, and more caring, than we are, because that is how she is, and that is what it takes to evolve. Every breath is encouragement, to be better – to try and transcend. Jamey somehow manages to live in the big picture, seeing the past and considering the future, while living within each moment, and the macrocosmic power contained within each breath, each touch, each sound, each look. She lives and loves without a net, without hesitation, and with no expectation other than to be treated with the same love, the same hope, and the same promise she gives. Our kids, who – let’s be honest – get more from her than anyone else, are the best testimonial, as they are quickly growing to be even better – their kindness, tolerance, sensitivity and intellect are entirely their mothers fault.
She’s also fucking hilarious – seriously, the funniest person I’ve ever known. Honestly, she’s so funny, she could be kind of a dick and I’d still think she was amazing. Bonus she’s not, right?” – ash

“Jamey…
How would I describe her? 
Charming, funny, bright, compassionate, a great mother, a good friend, diligent, hard working, thoughtful.” – rebecca

“Jamey etc etc etc is the kind of woman that deserves to have a four-name-long name. This chick is one of the absolute strongest women I know. BUT, one of the things I especially love about her is that, while I rely on that strength of hers, she also lets those close to her see the other things that make her beautiful – her vulnerability and sensitivity. The woman can cut a chicken’s head off, yell at the asshole down the street, and then come in and cry with me over the latest Parenthood.
She is a friend to the death – incredibly and fiercely loyal – an ally that anyone would want on their side, while also being the secretly emotional woman you need that enveloping hug from that only she can give. She is the friend that I know I can call on to attend a memorial for innocent children that we never knew, but feel their loss as if they were our own. She is the one that will hold my hand at those times that I just need to FEEL.
She is selflessly generous.
She is a super devoted, loving, and protective mother (in the most balanced, perfect way). One that I take many a lesson from in mommying, like how to be nurturing when it goes against your normal grain…
She exudes love for her family and earns that love and respect back.
She is super intelligent and very self-aware and aware of the world around her. As dumb as the world can often be, she is not fazed.
Have I said that she’s beautiful? She is STUNNING. The most fabulous tattoos, always the best hair, the best style (even when it’s a peacoat with yoga pants, she looks amazing), and just the way she carries herself – she exudes confidence. People can’t help but stare at how gorgeous she is. I think one of my favorite things to watch her do is to cover her mouth when she laughs, as her nose scrunches up all cute – I see this gorgeous woman transform into an adorable little girl for a minute.
The chick is HILARIOUS. I could go on for hours about this. We have enjoyed many a night where we just end up in a heap of tears on her kitchen floor from laughing so hard. There are probably pictures. Indeed, there are pictures. But they will never capture the actual extent of the hilarity. For that, you must experience Jamey for yourself. Everyone should be lucky enough to have that privilege.
p.s. she’ll also watch The Cure dvd trilogy with me for many hours in one sitting…gotta love that!” – alana

the original blogs (with backstory) can be found here:

http://alanatphotography.wordpress.com/2013/02/11/women-raw-honest-loved-part-1-2/

http://alanatphotography.wordpress.com/2013/02/12/women-raw-honest-loved-part-2/

66 thoughts on “jamey.

  1. Very cool project. i liked that Jamey didn’t stick to appearance issues, although many of her friends chose to use appearance-based compliments when describing her. That made me think a little. Would guys be subject to appearance compliments if this were flipped on the other gender?

    • I agree that it was nice that Jamey was honest enough to share something as deep as she did, not appearance based. I also think that what was awesome is that those of us that did compliment her on her appearance did that in the midst of sharing so many other things that she radiates…even more than how beautiful her appearance is.
      But, if you know Jamey, you can’t help but comment on her appearance – she’s striking – and all the other amazing things about her personality only add to how striking she is. :)

      And I think it would be interesting to see what the responses would be if this was a study on men, as well. I just don’t know that very many men would be interested in such a project, as far as sharing and discussing these aspects of themselves. What do you think? Share the male perspective, will you, please? :)

      • Good point. I guess I can’t really make a solid guess as to whether most men would be comfortable sharing these types of insecurities but I’m sure many would. Guys have their soft sides and we surely like to talk about ourselves. When I write poems, I stick almost strictly to my insecurities haha. Thanks for the reply!

  2. What an amazing series. Your lens has found the true beauty and essence of your subjects. I just want to hug them all, hold their hands and help them make it all better. Brilliant work.

  3. There’s so much realness in this project you presented with Jamey. She is relatable and honest and it’s absolutely courageous. Most people don’t acknowledge their insecurities or let these beliefs like I’m unlovable, I’m not good enough, I’m too much, I don’t matter let them take over their best selves. I completely relate and public affirmations are truly the best to rewire your brain to become influential and radiant beings. I’m in this personal growth class and they step by step take students to challenge and shift their most ingrained mistaken beliefs. Thanks for sharing!

    • That’s so exciting to hear! Those are the kinds of places that I think this project would be great…personal growth classes…where are you doing that, if you don’t mind me asking?
      And thank you so much for sharing your words here! It’s very much appreciated!

  4. Pingback: Freshly Riffed 24: This Job Is Gonna Kill Me | A VERY STRANGE PLACE

  5. I feel that, I could easily be her. I even feel afflicted by the dichotomy of knowing that people love me and feeling unlovable, unattractive and irritating. Thank you for this, it took courage for me to even look at.

  6. Lovely concept and makes me yearn to meet J in person… she is in fact there in every woman, generous, loyal, loving, selfless and in turn asking for nothing for all the love that she endows on her family and friends.. forgetting at times to love her own self and thus maybe she thinks she is unlovable..

    J love your circle that adores you… xoxo

  7. Your friend should be proud of her great wisdom for it takes many people a lifetime and a fortune spent in therpay, to find out that all insecurities stem from the misbelief that one is unworthy of being loved. She clearly could not be further from the truth :)

  8. This is beautiful, and empowering and inspiring. The photos and concept are strong, and the story of Jamey resonates with how I feel about myself. Can’t wait to see/read the other stories. :)

  9. Pingback: TomSlatin.com | 100 Awesome Blog Posts You Should Read - TomSlatin.com

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s